About Love

My book Silent Freedom talks a lot about love and the loss of love. I loved my first husband, Sol, with all my heart.  We were married for a short time before he had a stroke and eventually passed away.  My Silent Freedom remained in my heart and I knew that Sol was watching over me.  I remarried a fellow soldier after I had recovered from the loss of Sol. We were married for 20 years and he was a good man, heroic.  This is why it hurt so much when I learned of his betrayal while I was getting ready to deploy in 2003.  He called me while I was busy preparing my soldiers to pack the milvan (military van) and told me he was seeing someone else whom he had met online.  I was gutted.  I cried every night, and lost 20 pounds.  My Silent Freedom was still there but my light had become dim.  Finally, one day I reported to my supervisor who was also a great mentor.  I told him that I was done crying and ready to move forward.  He said that he had been watching me and counting the days until I would accept the devastating betrayal.  In April of 2003, I received a promotion while I was deployed and fighting the war in Iraq, which was a turning point of hope in my life and gave me new purpose.  I had new light, new hope, and new freedom. I felt like me more than ever.  Not Aurea, the wife of someone.  My identity was about my light, my power, my faith, my intuition, my ability to lift up others and my ability to be lifted up by my fellow soldiers.

When betrayed by someone you love, after you recover you develop a new love. It’s an unshakable love for your own heart. It’s a fierce love that says, “Aurea, I will never let us down.” When you feel that love in your own heart, for your own soul, not only does it make you stronger and resilient but eventually it opens a door to love others again. When you love, it’s true you risk being hurt. But the absence of love is an endless void of darkness. You must never close off your heart even in the depths of loss. I have lost. I have lost husbands, and fellow soldiers, friends, and once I even lost myself for a short time. To withhold love out of grief is a selfish act, our love is meant to be shared just as the love of God has been shared so generously with us all. My faith and hope ultimately saw me through all of my darkest moments and I allowed the light of God to shine on my face so I could embrace joy. Even in battle, even in loss, even in moments of despair, there is always joy waiting for you when you are ready to open the door to God’s love.